Kasper likes snow, he asked me to post this.
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
How to be a Dane
So I thought it was about time that I gave a lesson in the ways in which someone becomes a proper Dane. I'm not talking about getting a residency permit and all of the lovely free benefits that go along with it. I'm talking about literally making it seem like you were born and raised in this little country. This will include how Danes look and how they act
First step: Appearance
Let's start with hair, most danes have some shade of blonde hair, occasionally you will encounter a Dane with natural brown or red hair, but it is rare. For the girls, hairstyles consist of basic haircuts, focussing on have long hair that is either tied up in a bun that will add 5 inches to your height, or else left loose in a fresh out of bed-maybe I brushed it sort of way. For girls, the goal is to spend at most maybe two minutes on your hair, and to use nothing more than some stay in conditioner.
For the guys, you must spend at least 20 minutes doing your hair. You will have some sort of short hair cut, usually with the sides shaved and some crazy awesome hair flowing on top. You will have about 7 different hair products that you will use on a daily basis, and there is a good chance you will have to learn how to use a hair dryer, it is a necessity to achieve the proper amount of awesomeness.
Next Step! Clothing! If you have any color in your closet, put it all in a bag and set it on fire. You will not need any brightly colored clothing anymore. If you do have any colors, they will be a nice dark army green or an extremely dark navy blue, if you really want to push your luck, you can try for a dark maroon or burnt red, but that is seriously pushing it. Your best friend will become your pair of black skinny jeans (girls aim for that high waist). For shirts, think layering, big bulky sweaters, and some very chic looking black jackets (blazers, biker jackets, structure wool). The colors you have to choose from include grey, dark grey, white, and of course black. The most important thing when dressing is your scarf. Never leave the house without a large and in charge scarf to nuzzle your nose in and protect against the vicious wind. The ideal outfit would include black skinnies, a tucked in black long sleeve shirt, an awesome black jacket, and a gray heavy knit infinity scarf.
Now onto shoes. In Denmark, you ride your bike or walk everywhere on cobblestone clad streets, so screw flats and those uncomfortable heels, your will be wearing some sort of sneakers or booties. The brands include Keds, Converse, Adidas, Nike, and Vans. If you are wearing boots, they will be combat boots or wedged lace up booties. Boys, you have the freedom to wear any type of shoe you want, shoe style is pretty universal for boys.
Last step of appearance is your body. Danes have viking blood, so they are naturally tall and ripped. They exercise maybe once a week, and eat whatever the heck they want. If you want to compete with that you have to make it a daily habit to work out for about 2 hours. This is the land of the tall and lean, and there is no way to forget it.
Second step: Behavior and Attitude
Danes are quiet and shy, they keep to themselves and have a high respect for personal space and privacy. When in public, it is important that you look completely unapproachable and always have on your Ice Queen face. But be prepared to drop it on a dime and smile like crazy when someone talks to you. If you can muster up the courage to speak to a Dane, they are the kindest, warmest, and most welcoming people around. Even better, they are brutally honest, to everyone, so if you want a true opinion with no sugar coating, then ask a Dane.
All of this, however, is to be ignored when you are drunk. Throw all caution to the wind and dance like a freak while doing whatever the hell you feel like doing at the time. If you want to climb on a roof, go for it. If you want to walk down some public streets, have no fear, you can be as drunk as a skunk at almost any age in public and no one will care, just don't throw up on anything.
So there you have it! If you can master all of this then you can officially pull of being a Dane. Good luck, it isn't easy at first, but it is doable!
First step: Appearance
Let's start with hair, most danes have some shade of blonde hair, occasionally you will encounter a Dane with natural brown or red hair, but it is rare. For the girls, hairstyles consist of basic haircuts, focussing on have long hair that is either tied up in a bun that will add 5 inches to your height, or else left loose in a fresh out of bed-maybe I brushed it sort of way. For girls, the goal is to spend at most maybe two minutes on your hair, and to use nothing more than some stay in conditioner.
For the guys, you must spend at least 20 minutes doing your hair. You will have some sort of short hair cut, usually with the sides shaved and some crazy awesome hair flowing on top. You will have about 7 different hair products that you will use on a daily basis, and there is a good chance you will have to learn how to use a hair dryer, it is a necessity to achieve the proper amount of awesomeness.
Next Step! Clothing! If you have any color in your closet, put it all in a bag and set it on fire. You will not need any brightly colored clothing anymore. If you do have any colors, they will be a nice dark army green or an extremely dark navy blue, if you really want to push your luck, you can try for a dark maroon or burnt red, but that is seriously pushing it. Your best friend will become your pair of black skinny jeans (girls aim for that high waist). For shirts, think layering, big bulky sweaters, and some very chic looking black jackets (blazers, biker jackets, structure wool). The colors you have to choose from include grey, dark grey, white, and of course black. The most important thing when dressing is your scarf. Never leave the house without a large and in charge scarf to nuzzle your nose in and protect against the vicious wind. The ideal outfit would include black skinnies, a tucked in black long sleeve shirt, an awesome black jacket, and a gray heavy knit infinity scarf.
Now onto shoes. In Denmark, you ride your bike or walk everywhere on cobblestone clad streets, so screw flats and those uncomfortable heels, your will be wearing some sort of sneakers or booties. The brands include Keds, Converse, Adidas, Nike, and Vans. If you are wearing boots, they will be combat boots or wedged lace up booties. Boys, you have the freedom to wear any type of shoe you want, shoe style is pretty universal for boys.
Last step of appearance is your body. Danes have viking blood, so they are naturally tall and ripped. They exercise maybe once a week, and eat whatever the heck they want. If you want to compete with that you have to make it a daily habit to work out for about 2 hours. This is the land of the tall and lean, and there is no way to forget it.
Second step: Behavior and Attitude
Danes are quiet and shy, they keep to themselves and have a high respect for personal space and privacy. When in public, it is important that you look completely unapproachable and always have on your Ice Queen face. But be prepared to drop it on a dime and smile like crazy when someone talks to you. If you can muster up the courage to speak to a Dane, they are the kindest, warmest, and most welcoming people around. Even better, they are brutally honest, to everyone, so if you want a true opinion with no sugar coating, then ask a Dane.
All of this, however, is to be ignored when you are drunk. Throw all caution to the wind and dance like a freak while doing whatever the hell you feel like doing at the time. If you want to climb on a roof, go for it. If you want to walk down some public streets, have no fear, you can be as drunk as a skunk at almost any age in public and no one will care, just don't throw up on anything.
So there you have it! If you can master all of this then you can officially pull of being a Dane. Good luck, it isn't easy at first, but it is doable!
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